Episode II (The Ponzi Scheme)

Dear diary…

It has been a strange week. So much has happened that I cannot begin to talk about. But this week I learned a major lesson; Never trust get rich quick schemes. Remember Olumide? Our… sorry, my fine boy? He started my week with a disappointment. So you see, we spoke almost all weekend, and by Sunday evening we had agreed to meet by 6pm on Monday to get dinner. 

However, fast-forward to 5pm on Monday he called me, only to say that he could not make it anymore. And when I asked why, he said; “Babe, Corona Virus is spreading fast and it has led to oil price falling drastically. My boss needs me to work late today because of these developments.” Haba! Aspiring boo, Kini o kan Corona ati oil price kan date wa ke? (What concerns Corona Virus and oil price with our date?). Anyway, I said okay, and decided on alternate plans for my evening. I cannot wear my favorite dress on Monday, only to use it at work. I have to flaunt it as well. And that was how I followed some of my colleagues to the mall. 

Dear diary, in hindsight, I should have gone straight home… Because at the mall, one of my colleagues introduced me to a friend, who introduced me to another, who introduced me to a Ponzi scheme in which I could double my money in only 48 hours. Foolishly, oh dear diary, foolishly, yours truly gullibly bought into it. And with Joy’s money too. By Wednesday, I was still naively awaiting my doubled funds, only to be told by Thursday morning that the scheme had crashed. Aah! Olohun o ni je! (God will not allow it). Money that is not mine. 

Dear diary, that was only the beginning. By noon on the same day, Joy called. She had found an apartment, and she needed the money she kept with me. Apparently, it was money she intended to use as rent. Dear diary, I was at a loss as to what to say. I simply told her I would call her back. See me, see trouble. I wanted to double my money, but instead I got double wahala.

Anyway, aspiring boo finally bailed me out. And ironically, it was another one of his QuestMoney products that saved the day, sigh. Who knew I could get a payday loan at low interest rate, no collateral, and in quick time too? Maybe our… sorry, my fine boy is not so disappointing after all. God knows I would have gotten an enforced roommate by now.

Dear diary, Thank God it’s Friday…

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