Episode V: Social Distancing

Dear diary,
It has been a very strange week indeed.

Work began again on Monday, and I wish I could say I was looking forward to it. Before you say anything diary, I know. I was the one complaining of being tired sitting at home, guilty as charged. But you see diary, as the D-day to get back to work drew closer I started developing cold feet, and I wished I could stay a bit more at home. Anyway, all that is in the past now. Monday saw yours truly go back into the world… and believe it dear diary, the world was different.

First off, everyone wore nose masks and it became quite difficult to tell who was who as I passed through familiar routes. I greeted a stranger enthusiastically believing her to be one of the staff in the office next to mine, and I totally ignored the ‘hellos’ of a senior colleague as I navigated my way through human traffic completely certain that he was a total stranger. That is, until I got to the office and I noticed the very same pattern on his suit, and I proceeded to apologize profusely. But dear diary, that was only the beginning…

Complying with the curfew was an entirely different ball game altogether. I found myself doing those running exercises I couldn’t keep up with during the lockdown, as I raced to meet up with commercial buses, and raced again to get home prior to 8pm. Who knew, I probably could have aced the #fundquestwalkchallenge which Olumide never stopped yapping about during the lockdown. I guess it is what it is anyway. Speaking of Olumide, the clincher for the week had everything to do with my Yoruba Demon…

Dear diary, it had promised to be an amazing Friday. I was to have a date with Olumide. I had even bought a new dress and put on some extra makeup, despite the necessity of my nose mask. Don’t look at me diary, Olumide is special. Who knows what I would have done in this lockdown if not for his Questmoney loans that helped me keep ends together. Anyway, we met at this fancy outdoor eatery, and dear diary, we hugged…

In hindsight it was risky, but diary, the wahala that came with that single hug will take two full diary sessions to talk about. Long story short sha, eatery asked us to leave; and a pamphlet carefully detailing the social distancing measures was handed to us. That was not it o. We were then subjected to a thorough process of hand sanitizing and social distancing lectures by health officials who lurked by. By the time we were free to focus on ourselves again, it was time to beat another 8pm curfew.

Dear diary, it was welcome to a brave new world post lockdown.

Let me kuku go and sanitize again before bed. It is well…

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